Let's Not Be Perfect Today: Why Your Imperfections Are Leadership Gold

Trying to do everything perfectly can leave us feeling discouraged, anxious, and completely stuck. When we're constantly chasing perfection, we stop taking chances because we're terrified of hearing "no" or not succeeding.

As a woman, especially a woman of color and a mother, not showing weakness was embedded in me from a young age. As an adult now I can see some of my old tendencies creeping back up, but I know it will continue to be a work in progress. My work to show vulnerability, to ask for help, to be confident in saying "I don't know."

But here's what happens when we peel back the layers and show our imperfections: that's when we truly start progressing through life's transitions. That's when real leadership begins.

The Perfection Trap We All Know Too Well

Jessica Alba shared something powerful on the Aspire podcast—she tells herself "let's not be perfect today" as a daily reminder. A reminder to stop stressing about things we can't control and to recognize that our kids are always watching. If they see us trying to be "perfect" all the time, we're setting them up for the same impossible standards.

When you think about societal norms around living a "perfect" life, it's no wonder so many of us feel like we're falling behind or don't have our lives together. But feeling the emotions, showing the emotions, and leaning on support—that's where growth happens.

Breaking the Generational Cycle

I talk to my clients who are working moms about breaking the generational cycle—the cycle of watching our moms and aunties do it all with a smile and grace, never complaining, never saying no or setting boundaries, keeping the house in tip top condition, all while taking care of everyone. We grow up and think that's just how it is because that's how we're wired.

But just because that's how it was doesn't mean that's how it has to be.

As I continue to go through my vulnerability transition, I'm also working with clients to break this generational cycle. To show up confident in all our imperfections.

The Leadership Connection You Haven't Considered

Here's where it gets interesting for career women and working moms: those parenting skills we use every day? They're actually advanced leadership competencies that most management books can't teach.

When you're negotiating bedtime with a strong-willed toddler, you're practicing conflict resolution. When you're managing a meltdown in Target while keeping your cool, that's crisis management. When you're getting everyone fed, dressed, and out the door on time, you're running a complex project with multiple stakeholders and competing priorities.

Yet we often feel like we need to hide these experiences instead of recognizing them as valuable leadership development.

Finding My Comfort Zone (And Expanding It)

I'll be honest—I'm way more comfortable showing up imperfectly at home than I am at work, with my close friends than with strangers. I've had to really reflect on the areas where I'm not comfortable and ask myself why. What am I afraid of? What story am I telling myself about what others expect?

I've worked really hard on myself to start with at home. I no longer beat myself up if I'm too tired to cook dinner, clean the house, or handle the bedtime routine. I've learned to speak up and lean on my husband instead of suffering in silence. I also communicate with my son on the days when I'm just not feeling 100% myself. I do this intentionally so he knows that it's okay to have "off days"—that it's not possible to always be 100% on, even though we like to pretend on the surface.

I'm also learning to communicate at work when I'm not at 100%. It doesn't mean I don't do the work, but at least my boss knows my energy might not be what they're used to seeing. This was scary at first, but it's actually built more trust in my relationships.

How I'm Building Confidence Through My Imperfections

Part of my journey in overcoming "perfection syndrome" has been getting confident in who I am as a person. Life has thrown me plenty of rejection, roadblocks, and doors slammed in my face. There are some really cruel people in this world too. But I've learned that when I turn each of these negatives into a positive, that's how I thrive through transitions instead of just surviving them. That's how I stay in control of my own narrative.

When I'm rejected, I take it as a learning experience and ask for feedback. If someone is cruel to me, I tell myself they must be having a really shitty day and it has nothing to do with me. And if I really want to fill my ego when someone tells me no? I tell myself "their loss!" It might sound silly, but these little mindset shifts have been game-changers for me.

Finding Your Why Through Vision Work

For moms especially, confidence can sometimes get lost while raising little humans. This is where vision work becomes crucial. I always have my clients start with their WHY, their PURPOSE. From there I have them envision their future life—what are they doing, who are they with, where do they live, what's their job, etc. There's a lot of power in manifestation and vision work, and I believe it's a crucial step before actioning on things. It's a step that sets you up for sustainable growth into the person you're thriving to be for yourself and your loved ones.

Permission to Lead Imperfectly

When we normalize conversations about having challenging days, when we acknowledge that we're figuring things out as we go, when we admit we don't have all the answers—that's when real transformation happens in our workplaces and our homes.

The most impactful leadership often happens in small moments of vulnerability that build trust. It's admitting when you're overwhelmed, celebrating when people bring you problems instead of hiding them, and modeling that strength includes knowing when to rest.

Your imperfections aren't flaws to hide—they're actually leadership superpowers waiting to be unleashed.

The Ripple Effect

When we show up authentically, we give others permission to be human too. We create environments where people can bring their best selves instead of their performing selves. We build teams and families that are innovative because they're not afraid to fail, collaborative because they trust each other's intentions, and resilient because they support each other through challenges.

This is how we change culture from the inside out.

Your Next Step

As you think about your own journey—whether in leadership, motherhood, or just figuring out this whole adult thing—ask yourself: Where are you exhausting yourself trying to appear perfect? What would change if you gave yourself permission to be human? How might your authenticity create space for others to thrive?

The world doesn't need more perfect women. We need more authentic ones who are brave enough to be real, strong enough to be vulnerable, and confident enough to learn and grow in front of others.

So if there's one message to take away from this, it's Jessica Alba's daily reminder: "Let's not be perfect today."

Ready to explore what authentic leadership could look like in your life? Let's continue this conversation.