I Came Back from 4 Days Alone in the Desert. Here's What I Noticed.

CIVANA Wellness & Spa, Phoenix, AZ — Mother's Day Weekend 2026

I did a thing.

I came back from 4 days alone in the desert. No kids. No calls. No spreadsheets. No outfit decisions. No "what's for dinner."

And honestly? I almost didn't go.

I had put it on my vision board at the top of the year — take my first solo trip. I invited my mom friends to join me for a Mother's Day weekend wellness retreat, but I made it known I was going with or without them. Well… my friends couldn't make it. So solo I went.

You might be asking — why Mother's Day weekend? Don't you want to be with your family?

Listen. I love my kids. I love my family. But if there's one thing I've learned since becoming a mom, it's that Mother's Day has never really felt different from a random Sunday. I know I'm loved. My husband does an amazing job making me feel special outside of this one day.

It wasn't until last year that the holiday actually felt different — that was the year I took a long weekend to LA for the Cowboy Carter tour and came home on Mother's Day afternoon feeling refreshed, present, and genuinely excited to be with my son. That's when it clicked. A few days without being the go-to parent. Without thinking about dinner or laundry or the long invisible list we carry — that felt like a real celebration.

So I decided to make it a thing. Leave Thursday. Return Mother's Day. This year I chose CIVANA Wellness & Spa in Phoenix — yoga, hiking, hot weather, spa, pool. All the boxes, checked.

The view from CIVANA. Yes, it's as good as it looks.

And then, as I got closer to the trip… the feeling crept in.

You know the one. Starts with G. Ends with T.

Was I leaving my three-month-old too soon? Is it wrong to not be with my boys? What if the house falls apart without me?

And then the big one: Should I cancel?

I'll be honest — it took real mental effort to push through that feeling. And I coach on this topic. Your girl was out here pulling every tool from her own toolbox. Affirmations. Reframes. Changing the story from "this is selfish" to "I deserve this" and "my family deserves a well-rested, fully present mom." After a couple of days and some real reflection, the excitement finally crept in — and I started planning my yoga outfits. That's how I knew I was ready.

Day 1 — I arrived at the resort in the early afternoon and immediately checked out the café. First bite: delicious. That evening I went to a Gong Bath — not what it sounds like, no water involved — and it was amazing. Breathwork, meditation, the sound of rain mixed with a gong. I don't know if I was relaxed from the experience or just desperately catching up on sleep with a newborn at home, but either way I left feeling completely zen.

The Gong Bath. No water. Just sound, breath, and whatever your nervous system needed to release.

Room service after: Ahi Tuna, grilled octopus, and a non-alcoholic Pinot Grigio. Five stars. No notes.

Five stars. Absolutely no notes.

Day 2 — I skipped the morning intention ceremony to sleep in (zero regrets), made it to a yoga flow class, had a light breakfast, and spent time poolside with my book.

Breakfast outside with nowhere to be. This is what regulated feels like.

Hit the gym, used the water circulation pools and sauna, and ended the day with a sunset massage where they checked my chakras for the first time. Apparently my heart chakra is wide open. 😉 Got dressed up for dinner at Terras — cauliflower curry soup, branzino, NA cocktail. I could have licked the plate.

Poolside with Every Summer After and absolutely no agenda.

Day 3 — I hurt my back lifting in their five-star gym, so the bike ride into town got canceled. And here's the thing about solo travel — I didn't have to feel bad about changing the plan. I spent most of the day at the spa pool, canceled dinner reservations, ordered room service, and watched a good movie in bed. My back hurt. I rested. That was the right call.

Day 3 view from the balcony. The back hurt. The view did not.

Day 4 — Early flight home. I walked in around 5pm and my boys were right there. I was so excited to see them. Rested. Clear. Patient. Present.

Here's what I noticed in the first 24 hours back.

The first thing wasn't relief. It was guilt.

A small voice asking why I'd needed that. Whether other women would judge me for leaving. Whether I'd be able to hold onto whatever I'd just touched.

I want to name that voice, because I think a lot of us know it. It's the one that tells us our needs are inconvenient. That rest is indulgent. That a good mom, a good leader, a good woman should be able to keep going.

That voice is not telling the truth.

The second thing was the silence I brought home with me.

For about six hours, I noticed something I hadn't felt in a long time — a gap between something happening and my reaction to it. I wasn't responding from a depleted nervous system. My brain fog was gone. I was patient. I was actually there.

The third thing was harder to sit with.

By hour thirty, I could feel the old patterns reaching for me. The quick yes. The "I've got it." The instinct to absorb everyone else's stress before they'd even said a word.

And watching that happen — noticing the patterns come back in real time — that was actually the most important part of the whole experience.

Flow with whatever may happen and let your mind be free." — The CIVANA journal. This one stayed with me.

Here's what I want you to know about what a wellness retreat actually does and doesn't do.

It doesn't fix you. You were never broken.

What it gives you is a baseline. A reference point. Now you know what regulated feels like — so you can notice when you're not. And that noticing? That's where the real work begins. Not on the retreat. In the days after.

If this trip taught me anything, it's that putting yourself first is a win-win for everyone. I want to be a present, happy, loving mom. I want to be successful in my career. I want to show up fully for my husband, my team, my clients. But to be fully there for others, you have to be fully there for yourself first.

There is no perfect work-life balance. There's only your life — work, family, health, joy — organized differently depending on the season you're in. But your needs have to be on the plate. Always.

So book the trip. Take the break. Do the thing that brings you joy.

Your family will benefit. Your team will benefit. And most importantly — you will.

What's the longest you've gone without scheduling a single thing for yourself? I'd love to know. Drop it in the comments. 👇🏾